my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
