i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
