he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
