It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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