just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It's never too late to be topless.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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