shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
