OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
