I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize