And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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