Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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