So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Panties = found
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
