Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
areolas are like halos for boobs.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
