he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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