Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
