No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
