peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize