That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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