Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
