You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
