Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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