Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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