Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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