Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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