Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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