I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Randomize
