Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
