I just cut my nipple shaving
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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