she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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