ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
