Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
