Three words: puerto rican gang bang
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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