I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
