Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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