This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
