She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
