the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
