Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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