Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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