i would punch a child for taco bell
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize