they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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