Christians are straight up FREAKS
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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