I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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