my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
