How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
