it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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