Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
