I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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