Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
May the power of my ass compel you!!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
