i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
