I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
birth control should be required to get into college
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
