thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
