There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
as a side note pls kill me
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize