dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Boobs are out for the taking
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
