i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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