It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
