In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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