I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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